Avoid pious verbiage

I got this press release a while ago but I’ve been saving it up. It is a classic example of over-egging a press release. It begins

Billerica, MA: November 3rd 2005: Once again demonstrating the company’s commitment to maintaining and maximizing the value of customer investments while building on its technology leadership, Radstone Embedded Computing today unveiled its strategic roadmap.

What does this tell us about Radstone Embedded Computing?

  • They’re committed to helping customers get the most out of their products
  • They think they are a technical leader in their field
  • They want to stay that way
  • They’ve released a roadmap, presumably about future technology or products. Although this isn’t stated explicitly, it can be inferred from the rest of the paragraph.

Are there any companies out there who DON’T want to help their customers get the most out of their investments as well as build and maintain leadership in their field. No, of course not.

So the gist of this press release is “Radstone Embedded Computing has released a strategic roadmap.” So why don’t they say that?

30 Days to Better Business Writing
Get free email updates whenever we publish new posts on Bad Language.

No spam. Just essential marketing insights.

Sign up today and we'll send you a free copy of '30 Days to Better Business Writing' too.

2 Responses to Avoid pious verbiage

  1. Thomas Newton says:

    This is another form of Gobbly-Gook: Writing that looks good but says little. The writer in this case was expected and paid to write a paragraph when the only substance could be expressed as a sentence. Consequently, he/she threw a round of excrement at the job and we have to wade through it holding our noses.


  1. How to spot sucky writing from 50 paces • Articulate - 18 November 2016

    […] Cut out the waffle. […]

Leave a Reply